EMDR for People Who Struggle to Verbalize Emotions
Many people delay therapy because they worry they will not know what to say when they are there. Some feel disconnected from their emotions. Others know they are struggling but cannot put it into words.
You might freeze when asked how you feel, go blank during emotional conversations, or default to saying “I’m fine” even when you are not. For example, someone might notice a strong reaction in their body but feel unable to explain it beyond saying that something feels off.
Difficulty verbalizing emotions is more common than many people realize. It is not a sign of avoidance, lack of insight, or resistance. It can be the result of early family dynamics, cultural expectations, trauma, or never having had space to talk about feelings safely.
This is where EMDR, short for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, therapy can be especially helpful.
Why some people struggle to express emotions
Struggling to verbalize emotions often has understandable roots. In many cases, these patterns developed for good reasons.
For some people, emotions were not openly discussed growing up. Feelings may have been dismissed, minimized, or seen as inconvenient. Others learned early on that staying quiet felt safer than speaking up. Over time, this can shape how a person relates to their inner experience.
Trauma can also play a role. When experiences are overwhelming, the brain may store them in a way that is more sensory or emotional than verbal. This means the feelings are there, but the words are not.
Cultural factors matter as well. In some cultures or families, emotional restraint is valued, and talking openly about feelings is discouraged. This can make emotional expression feel unfamiliar rather than impossible..
Why talk therapy can feel challenging in these situations
Traditional talk therapy relies heavily on conversation, reflection, and emotional language. While this works well for many people, it can feel frustrating if you struggle to describe what is happening internally.
Clients sometimes say things to me like:
“I don’t know how I feel, I just feel bad.”
“I shut down when I try to explain it.”
“I understand my problems, but I cannot access the emotions.”
“I feel it in my body, not in words.”
When therapy feels centred on explaining or analyzing emotions, people who struggle with verbal expression may feel stuck or discouraged or begin to wonder whether therapy is even the right place for them.
How EMDR works without relying on words
EMDR does not depend on detailed verbal descriptions. While conversation is still part of the process, EMDR focuses more on internal experience than on storytelling.
During EMDR, clients are guided to notice sensations, images, emotions, or thoughts that arise while following bilateral stimulation such as eye movements or tapping. There is no requirement to explain everything out loud or to find the perfect words.
Many clients find relief in knowing that they do not need to narrate their experiences in detail. Clients need only give a brief snapshot or ‘headline’ as to what is happening for them internally.The emphasis is on noticing rather than explaining. The brain is doing the work of processing, even when language feels limited.
Working with the body and nervous system
Emotions are not stored only in thoughts. They also live in the body and nervous system. This is especially true for experiences that were overwhelming or never fully processed.
People who struggle to verbalize emotions often describe physical sensations such as tightness, heaviness, numbness, or restlessness. These sensations may be present long before emotions feel clear or nameable. EMDR allows these sensations to be part of the therapeutic process without forcing them into words.
Over time, clients may notice that emotional awareness increases naturally. Words may come later, but they are not required for progress to happen.
Who may benefit from EMDR when words feel hard
EMDR can be particularly helpful for people who:
Feel emotionally shut down or disconnected
Experience strong physical reactions without clear explanations
Have a history of trauma or chronic stress
Grew up in environments where emotions were discouraged
Struggle to identify or name feelings
Feel overwhelmed when asked to talk about the past
Have tried talk therapy but still feel emotionally stuck
Many of these individuals are highly reflective and insightful. The challenge is not understanding, but access to emotional experience in the moment.
What EMDR sessions feel like for non-verbal processors
EMDR sessions are structured and paced carefully. Early sessions focus on safety, grounding, and building trust. You are not pushed into emotional work before you are ready.
During reprocessing, you may notice shifts in sensations, images, or emotional intensity. Some people describe feeling clearer, calmer, or more settled afterward. Others notice gradual changes in how they react to triggers in daily life. These shifts are often subtle at first.
Importantly, you are always in control. You can pause, slow down, or stop the process at any time.
EMDR and cultural or language differences
For people who speak multiple languages or come from cultures where emotional expression is less verbal, EMDR can feel more accessible than talk-heavy approaches.
Clients often say it feels relieving not to have to explain cultural context or emotional nuance in detail. There is less pressure to translate experiences, both linguistically and emotionally.
This can be especially meaningful for immigrants, multilingual individuals, and people who feel that their emotional world does not fit easily into words.
Does EMDR mean you never talk about feelings?
No. EMDR does not eliminate conversation from therapy. Instead, it reduces the pressure to verbalize before you are ready or able.
Many people find that after EMDR processing, emotions become easier to talk about. Once the emotions change, language often follows naturally.
Therapy becomes less about forcing expression and more about supporting integration. This allows insight and emotional clarity to emerge over time.
Choosing a therapist who understands this challenge
If you struggle to verbalize emotions, it is important to work with a therapist who recognises this as a valid experience, not a barrier or flaw.
A trained EMDR therapist will explain the process clearly, respect your pace, and adapt sessions to your needs. They will not pressure you to disclose or perform emotionally.
Feeling safe and understood matters more than any specific technique.
About Liz Vossen and Trauma-Informed Therapy
I am a trauma informed EMDR therapist supporting people whose past experiences, whether clear traumatic events or the accumulation of difficult moments over time, continue to influence their present lives in unwanted ways. Through EMDR, I help clients move from understanding their experiences to fully processing them, creating greater ease, confidence, flexibility, and momentum in daily life.
I offer a free 20 minute consultation to explore whether EMDR feels like a good fit and to answer any questions about the process.
