EMDR Therapy Explained: How It Works, Who It Helps, and What to Expect
Alex’s experience
Alex is in their early 30s and comes to therapy feeling constantly on edge. On paper, life looks stable — steady work, supportive relationships — but inside, Alex feels easily overwhelmed. Small conflicts trigger intense anxiety, and mistakes at work spiral quickly into self-criticism and panic.
Alex understands where this comes from. Growing up, emotional safety was inconsistent. Praise was unpredictable, and mistakes were met with criticism or withdrawal. Alex learned to stay alert, perform well, and avoid missteps, patterns that helped at the time, but now feel exhausting.
In EMDR therapy, Alex doesn’t start by revisiting childhood memories in detail. Instead, sessions focus first on building a sense of safety and learning how to stay grounded when emotions rise. When reprocessing begins, memories linked to early experiences of criticism are approached gradually.
Over time, Alex notices changes that feel subtle but meaningful. Situations that once triggered panic feel more manageable. The inner critic softens. Emotional reactions feel less immediate and less overwhelming. The past is still remembered, but it no longer feels like it’s happening again.
Understanding EMDR in plain language
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a form of psychotherapy designed to help people process experiences that still feel overwhelming even though they may have happened long ago. It is most often associated with trauma treatment, but it is also used for anxiety, grief, self-esteem issues, and long-standing emotional patterns that feel difficult to change through talk therapy alone.
Many people are drawn to EMDR because they feel stuck. They may understand their struggles logically but their body and emotions don’t seem to agree.
For example, someone might understand that their anxiety comes from earlier experiences, yet still feel their body react as if danger is present. They may find themselves overthinking, bracing for mistakes, or feeling overwhelmed in situations that seem manageable on the surface
EMDR works differently from traditional talk therapy by helping the brain process experiences so that they feel less emotionally intense and easier to live with.
What EMDR is and what it is not
EMDR is not hypnosis, and it does not erase memories. You remain present, aware, and in control throughout sessions. EMDR is also not a quick fix. While some people notice changes relatively quickly, effective EMDR therapy is paced carefully and tailored to each individual. Safety, consent, and readiness are central to the work.
How EMDR works in the brain
When a person experiences something overwhelming, the brain may struggle to fully process the experience at the time. Instead of being stored as a memory that feels clearly in the past, aspects of the experience can remain “stuck” and continue to trigger emotional or physical reactions long after the event is over.
For example, someone who grew up in an environment where mistakes led to criticism, for instance, may logically know they are safe as an adult, yet still experience intense anxiety or self-criticism when they make even small errors.
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, often in the form of guided eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones to helpthe brain reprocess these experiences. Over time, distressing memories often become less vivid, less emotionally charged, an less disruptive to daily life. They are still remembered, but they no longer hold the charge or felt-intensity they once did. Ultimately, these once distressing memories become less disruptive to daily life.
While researchers continue to study the precise mechanisms involved, EMDR is widely recognized as an evidence-based treatment for trauma and post-traumatic stress.
What EMDR sessions are actually like
EMDR therapy does not begin with intense memory work. Early sessions focus on building safety, trust, and regulation skills. You and your therapist will talk about your goals, current stressors, and work on techniques to help you feel regulated and grounded. This preparatory work is an essential part of the process, not a delay.
For many clients, this early phase feels relieving. One person described realising that therapy wasn’t about diving into the hardest memories right away, but about learning how to feel steady enough to approach them when the time was right.
Only when you feel ready does the reprocessing begin. During this phase, you will be invited to notice thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, or images that arise while following bilateral stimulation. You do not need to describe everything out loud, you will be sharing just short snippets of information. Many people find this relieving to know, especially if the idea of talking in depth about experiences feels difficult or overwhelming.
Sessions are structured but flexible. A skilled EMDR therapist adjusts pacing based on how a client is responding, and pauses or shifts focus when needed. For example you may arrive at a therapy session after an intense work day and feel that reprocessing would be too taxing that day, your therapist can adjust and offer a non-processing session.
What EMDR feels like emotionally
People often wonder whether EMDR is intense. The experience varies from person to person and from session to session. Some sessions feel emotionally activating, while others feel calm or reflective or even neutral. When strong emotions can arise, they are approached gradually and with support.
Importantly, EMDR is not about reliving trauma in detail. The emphasis is on processing rather than retelling. Over time, many clients notice that emotions become more manageable and that triggers lose their power.
Change often shows up gradually. Rather than dramatic emotional release, people may notice that situations which once felt overwhelming start to feel more manageable, or that their reactions soften more quickly.
Who EMDR can help
EMDR is commonly used to support people who have experienced trauma, but trauma does not have to be a single dramatic event. EMDR may be helpful for people who experience:
Childhood or developmental trauma
Complex or repeated relational trauma
Anxiety that feels difficult to manage through insight alone
Phobias
Panic attacks or health anxiety
Grief or complicated loss
Negative core beliefs such as “I am not good enough”
Emotional reactions that feel out of proportion to present situations
Burnout linked to chronic stress or high responsibility
People who resonate with this often say things like: “I know where this comes from,” or “I’ve talked about it before, but it still affects me.” EMDR can be especially helpful when insight alone hasn’t been enough to create change.
Many people who benefit from EMDR do not identify as “traumatized.” They simply notice patterns that feel deeply ingrained and difficult to shift.
When EMDR may not be the right fit
EMDR is not appropriate for everyone at every stage. Some people benefit from stabilization and resourcing work before beginning reprocessing. Others may prefer different therapeutic approaches based on their needs, personality, or current life circumstances.
People who experience high levels of disassociation may have trouble remaining present for the reprocessing. A responsible EMDR therapist will assess readiness and discuss alternatives if EMDR is not recommended. Good therapy is collaborative, not prescriptive.
EMDR and talk therapy: how they work together
EMDR does not replace talk therapy. Many therapists integrate EMDR with other approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy, emotion-focused therapy, or acceptance and commitment therapy.
Talk therapy can help build insight, strengthen coping skills, and explore meaning. EMDR adds another layer by addressing how experiences are stored in the nervous system. Together, these approaches support both understanding and emotional regulation.
Safety, pacing, and client control
One of the most common concerns about EMDR is losing control. In practice, EMDR is highly client-led. The client is in control of whether to reprocess and the pacing. If the experience ever becomes too much; they can pause, slow down, or stop at any time. Your therapist will discuss signals to do this before beginning any reprocessing so the client is fully in control of the session. Therapists monitor responses carefully and prioritise emotional safety.
Preparation and resourcing help ensure that EMDR work remains tolerable and grounded. Feeling safe in the process matters more than moving quickly.
How long EMDR therapy takes
There is no fixed timeline. Some people notice meaningful shifts within a few sessions, while others work over a longer period. Factors such as the nature of the experiences being addressed, current stress levels, and available support all influence the pace of therapy.
Ethical EMDR therapy focuses on sustainable change rather than speed.
Common misconceptions about EMDR
Some people worry that EMDR is too intense or that it will make symptoms worse. While temporary emotional activation can occur, EMDR is designed to reduce distress over time, not increase it.
Others believe EMDR only works for severe trauma. In reality, it can also be effective for long-standing emotional patterns, self-doubt, and stress responses that have developed gradually.
How to know if a therapist is trained in EMDR
EMDR should only be provided by therapists who have completed recognized EMDR training and supervision. A trained therapist will be able to explain their approach clearly, discuss risks and benefits, and answer questions openly.
If a therapist cannot explain how EMDR works or rushes into reprocessing without preparation, this is a red flag.
Considering EMDR therapy
If you are curious about EMDR, the next step is usually a consultation. This allows you to ask questions, understand the therapist’s approach, and decide whether EMDR feels like a good fit for you.
EMDR therapy is not about forcing change. It is about supporting the brain’s natural capacity to heal when the right conditions are in place.
Bringing it all home
EMDR therapy offers a structured, evidence-based way of working with experiences that continue to affect the present. It does not erase the past, but it can help reduce the emotional weight carried forward from it.
For many people, the outcome of EMDR isn’t forgetting the past, but experiencing it differently. Memories feel more distant. Reactions feel less urgent. Life feels more flexible and less driven by old patterns.
For many people, EMDR creates space for greater calm, flexibility, and self-trust. When offered thoughtfully and with cultural and emotional sensitivity, it can be a powerful part of the therapeutic process.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about EMDR Therapy
Is EMDR therapy safe?
Yes. EMDR is considered a safe, evidence-based therapy when provided by a properly trained therapist. Sessions are paced carefully, and preparation is an important part of the process. Clients remain in control at all times and can pause or stop whenever needed.Do I have to talk in detail about my trauma during EMDR?
No. EMDR does not require you to describe your experiences in detail. Many clients share very little verbally during reprocessing. The focus is on how memories are stored and processed, not on retelling the story.Can EMDR make symptoms worse?
Some people notice temporary emotional activation during or after sessions, especially early on. This is usually short-lived and part of the processing process. A trained therapist will monitor reactions closely and adjust pacing to maintain emotional safety.How do I know if EMDR is right for me?
EMDR can be helpful if you feel stuck, emotionally reactive, or affected by past experiences despite understanding them logically. A consultation with a trained therapist can help determine whether EMDR is appropriate for your current needs and readiness.How is EMDR different from regular talk therapy?
Talk therapy focuses on insight, understanding, and coping strategies. EMDR adds a structured method for helping the brain reprocess distressing memories so they feel less intense in the present. Many therapists combine EMDR with talk therapy for a more comprehensive approach.
About Liz Vossen and Trauma-Informed Therapy
I am a trauma informed EMDR therapist supporting people whose past experiences, whether clear traumatic events or the accumulation of difficult moments over time, continue to influence their present lives in unwanted ways. Through EMDR, I help clients move from understanding their experiences to fully processing them, creating greater ease, confidence, flexibility, and momentum in daily life.
I offer a free 20 minute consultation to explore whether EMDR feels like a good fit and to answer any questions about the process.
